It's important to be kind to people, but it is more important to be kind to oneself. Being kind to oneself stems from the same place as self-love, self-respect and a little from selfishness. Like self-love and self-respect, kindness to yourself also affects the way we allow other people take up space in our lives. Out of kindness and respect to oneself, certain people would not take up space in their magnanimity in our lives. It would reduce the weight of the opinions and expectations of others upon us. 

Nobody in this world owes you kindness, and you can't control the situations in other people's lives that affect their level of kindness. If the world would be a somewhat terrible place to you, you also can not be a terrible home to yourself. We all go through so many highs and lows in life to be unkind to ourselves. You have to be an active contributor to your wellness and peace. 

Practising the act of kindness towards myself has been very revealing. I now pay attention to the vocabulary I use with myself, the expectations I have for myself and the expectations I have of others. It has also opened my eyes to how abusive a lot of us are, to ourselves and just how much we allow societal expectations cripple us. Being kind to myself has involved going the extra mile for myself, the way I usually do for other people and reducing just how much stuff I allow other people dump on me, in the name of kindness. Myleik Teele once said, the more stuff you allow people dump on you, the more they want to dump on you. Being kind to myself has also involved a lot of self-care, which wards off excessive self-pity by allowing myself to be more introspective and picking out the gold from every situation and discarding the ashes. 

Being kind to myself has made me realise that the pressure to have it all together is futile and it defeats my purpose as a human being because I keep paying more attention to organising/avoiding the chaos than growing through the chaos. I keep working to prevent the chaos from affecting my public perception ("rep" as Nigerians would say), instead of just living my life, with myself (and my happiness) as the most important factor. Being kind to myself allows me the freedom to wear my despair and heartbreak on my sleeve, should I choose to. It frees me from the prison of "what would other people say." It allows me to live, breathe and move as a complete and valid human. 

Being kind to yourself exercises your kindness muscle, allowing your kindness to flow easily to other people, making the world a better place. In what ways do you practice self-care, self-love and kindness to yourself?

Wearing: Top made by me (shoot me an email, if you want to order one)// Jeans & Bag - Zara // Shoes - Public desire.

I was trying to find alternative ways to wear the off-shoulder trend, without having the same top in ten different colours, so I decided to try this sleeve variation with this linen fabric and it works!! I am in love!

Styling tip: Like florals for summer, pastels are not groundbreaking but are ridiculously cute. For a neutral-colour-wearing-ninja like myself, pairing two different pastel colours together might be daunting. Try experimenting with lighter washes, till you gain more courage.

What are your favourite summer trends? Which summer trends do you find daunting?

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