MUSINGS| CONNECTING FLIGHT


Happy September loves! I wrote this post while waiting in Amsterdam, I was just writing down my thoughts and I thought to share.

As I sit here, people watching, I realise how much my life has changed, how I have grown as a person. The last time I was here, my heart was shattered into many fragments, I was sad to have left my family back in Nigeria, I was unhappy to be going back to Wales, I even felt worse because I knew that my long distance relationship that had lasted 16 months wasn't going survive the next school year (I just had a terrible feeling that it wasn't)

The thing is that I knew that I wanted to be a different person. I wanted to grow and I knew that change was going to cost me a lot, a lot of things that mattered most to me were going to have to give way. I knew I had to do things differently this time but I didn't understand why I felt this way, I couldn't trace where these feelings came from. I had cried the whole flight from Lagos to Amsterdam.

"Why am I crying? Why am I so sad?" I asked myself. I knew it wasn't because I just said goodbye to my family, I knew it wasn't because I just said "I love you" to my now ex-boyfriend. I just couldn't figure out why. Now, I know it was because I was sad, sad with my life, so sad that the "change revolution" sprung up in me. I knew I wanted change but I didn't know how to change anything.

Today, as I sit here, I know how the change came about. I opened my heart to God, honestly, because I was broken. God has been with me all the way, he let me feel that sadness to lead me back to him, cuz boy, I had wandered far and wide. The yearning for change came from him, the knowledge to let go of certain things came from him and most importantly, the way to the joy I feel now, came from him. He has filled my heart with so much joy, that even when things get tough and my happiness is stolen away from me, I know that "this too shall pass". The hole in my heart/life is now filled with so much joy from God and all I can say is thank you God.

I can happily say today that I am one happy girl. 



Enjoy this new month guys! xx

2 comments

  1. Aww glad to hear you are happy Deola! I pray that you always remember He is with you every step of the way in all that you do :)

    Mo x

    ReplyDelete

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